we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
