Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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