If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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