If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This is my gift to your gina
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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