I should be sponsored by Trojan
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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