i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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