susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
