Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
