Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
