why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize