I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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