Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
