Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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