she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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