It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
