windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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