okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
