hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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