i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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