we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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