You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
