just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
