Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How's work?
Spinning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
