I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
