Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So squirting runs in the family.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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