i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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