well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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