He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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