Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it was like eating out sand paper
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
