sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
