Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
