at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
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Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize