why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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