Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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