It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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