were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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