hotel room ftw
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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