so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
