i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
