anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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