Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
