ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize