ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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