The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
