Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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