I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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