I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
