Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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