what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just blew my weed a kiss
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
