You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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