I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
