Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
