her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
