so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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