Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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