Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
