Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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