The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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