Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
